3rd Test : Day Three - A Waiting Game

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.
- Leo Tolstoy

I awoke with rain falling outside my window. This was a most portentous start to the day. I decided to have a cigarette before I got out of bed. It was well deserved. The prospect of undergoing the hardship of making myself some instant coffee and switching on Sky Sports News only to see the covers on at Edgbaston sans nicotine was an impossible one. Having procrastinated for as long as I could, I sloped downstairs and observed the inevitable. There had been rain over night in Birmingham; the ubiquitous covers greeted me with scorn and even Gower looked a little abashed. "The start of play has been delayed," he announced solemnly before recovering himself to smile and reveal that "the next inspection is at noon".

I was furious. It was patently clear that the chance of any play at all today was negligible at best but we were to kept in suspense. The decision would be a long one, drawn out so we had to keep our tv sets tuned to SS1. I had turned down many an offer to watch the cricket today and now Murdoch's minions - the commentary team included - were toying with us. And the umpires were in cahoots. What a liberty! Us poor, beleaguered viewers deserve much better treatment. Not to mention the supporters in the ground who had turned up on time and in suitable attire only to find a field devoid of players. The announcement that an early lunch was to be taken at 12.50 did not calm the mood. The morning session was a wash-out and again it was nocturnal rain to blame. Why are we playing an Ashes test match on a pitch without a proper drainage systems? It's absurd. No wonder test cricket is on death row. What followed was a series of pitch inspections over the course of the rest of the afternoon - at 13.30, 14.00 and 14.30. The outfield was closely monitored as the umpires assessed whether the pitch was safe for the fielding team. Rain fell at around two thirty to squash any possibility that the pitch might recover in the late afternoon and play was finally abandoned for the day at 14.40. In some quarters anyway. The Guardian over-by-over coverage was the first to announce the cessation of play. SS1 and TMS were withholding the information for as long as possible. It was shocking conduct.

I understand that being a cricket fan involves many sacrifices not least time but there is no need to test our levels of patience. We are no fools. We may like to dress up and drink and sing and swear and dance around like nobody is watching but hedonism is a philosophy not a sign-post for idiocy. We all knew that play was impossible today. Why not announce the news at the start of the day? The smurfs, superheroes and cowboys in the crowd were let down. The dudes dressed as Kings of Spain in honour of Gilo - the mugs made for his benefit season were misspellt and read King of Spain as opposed to King of Spin - were disrespected. Such behaviour from the authorities is threatening the future of the greatest form of the game, test cricket. It may have been daring - Mr Burns was in the crowd and he is not one to be crossed - but it was grossly misplaced. We were kept waiting in case there was a chance of the 26 overs which would have seen refunds of the supports in the ground rescinded. No other sport would treat its supporters in this way. We Barmies are a lovable bunch but we cannot be taken for granted forever. In every other country in the world test crowds are dwindling. It is folly to abuse the loyal.

I may have lost patience today but I soothed myself with watching The Arsenal in pre-season action and tried to focus on the positive - there is still time in this match. Yes, there is still sufficient time for us to go two nil up in this series and tomorrow I will sacrifice my day once again in the hope of watching some cricketing wonderment. Let's hope the inclement weather doesn't prevent a result. We are not expecting the sun to shine tomorrow and Monday but the disappearance of Noah's Ark esq torrents would be welcome. The Epicurean Eight and The rest of the Barmy Army deserve to be treated better by the ECB and by the weather gods. Be warned, Zeus. Be warned...We will not sit on our hands forever.