3rd Test: Day Four - Victory in sight thanks to Sir Fred

All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
- Edgar Allen Poe, A Dream Within A Dream

Australia: 1st innings - 263 & 2nd innings - 88-2; England: 1st innings - 376 (day four, stumps)

Settling down for a marathon day of cricket after only 4 hours of sleep is not one of the wisest decisions I have ever made. Test cricket is a test for the viewers not just the players. In order to watch the game, you need to be able to concentrate and - above all - to be alert. If your eyes glaze over for a second, you may miss a wicket, a dropped catch or a sumptuous six. I dosed myself with caffeine and hoped for the best. I'm not sure how I am still awake now writing this to be honest. But human will is a powerful force. Just as Freddie battled through the pain to bludgeon us into a winning position this afternoon, I fought my yearning to sleep off my hangover throughout the day and, rather than napping, instead focused my bleary eyes on today's play. Having witnessed a bullfight in Shoreditch the night before, I was hoping for similar drama to stave off fatigue.

MORNING SESSION : AUSSIES SWING BACK

David Gower has become the bestower of bad news over the past few days but today he reclaimed his chipper air with the announcement that play was going to begin at noon. The delay of a single hour seemed nothing in comparison to the toils of the previous day. With the morning session set to last only an hour, we looked to Our Lord and The Lost Boy Sherm to solidify a bright start to our first innings and survive until lunch with their wickets intact. Unfortunately, Brocko maintained his curious habit of being unable to maintain his batting prowess when well set over-night by edging behind off Hilfenhaus after just half an hour. Belly at the other end had already endured another huge LBW appeal, this time off Sid. It looked plumb again. The umpires have clearly taken a liking to Ian Ronald. The Nurdler arrived at the crease and I anticipated a useful partnership. The ball was swinging around but I hoped that Colly's gritty determination would contemplate Bellbeforce's stroke-play and see us through. We still trailed the Aussies by over a hundred runs and needed some stability at the crease. Hilfenhaus, however, had other ideas. Benjamina is no Anderson but he was bowling very aggressively and unsettled Collingwood from the off. In the end, it was no surprise when the Hilfenmeister removed The Ginger Ninja with the penultimate ball before lunch. With 91 overs due to be played, there was a lot of cricket remaining in the day. We were 159-4 and we needed The Teeth to continue his bright form in the series and contribute with the willow once again.

AFTERNOON SESSION : FREDDIE ON FIRE

Prior and Bell trotted out to bat after lunch full of purpose and Belly reached his twentieth test 50 shortly after play resumed. In the ensuing minutes, I dreamt of The Sherminator marking his return to the test arena with a match defining century and silencing his critics forever. In fact got so carried away that I had to go upstairs to my room and have a ciggie to calm down. Just as I was regaining composure, the news of Sherm being dismissed LBW off MJ at last emanated from the TMS coverage streaming on my computer. We were now 168-5 and in some trouble. I tried not to wholly blame myself for Belly's demise - I was flagging after lunch and in need of a short screen break as well as a fag - and was soon invigorated by the sight of Friedrich bounding to the crease. The SS1 commentary team had been informing us of Fred's brilliance at Edgbaston all day - he averages 47 at the ground in tests which is astronomically higher than his test batting average which hovers around 30. The crowd audibly relished his arrival and the super Fred anthem rang around the pitch before he had even faced a ball. The Flintstone looked in the mood too as he exchanged verbals with MJ and started his innings defiantly, albeit a little scratchily as ever.

Freddie set out erasing the Australians' first innings lead as a matter of great urgency. It was glorious to watch. He and Prior racked up a 50 partnership from just 71 balls. Both batsmen were playing positive, attacking cricket but it was Flintoff who was the chief destroyer. The Teeth was removed for 41 and our latest wicketkeeper trudged off fuming after gifting Sid a wicket with a nothing shot. We were 257-6 and still six behind Oz with a sizable, quick lead a necessity given the game situation. Freddie took it upon himself once again to lead us to parity and beyond. He ensured that scores were level with a lazy six and then reached his 50. His Fredness was batting with a freedom we haven't seen for years. The run-rate for the session reached 7.18 as he and his new partner Broad laid into the Aussie attack. Our present and future all-rounders were toying with the Baggy Green with delightful disdain. Then, just as The Flintstone seemed destined for his sixth test century and his first test century since the 05 Ashes, disaster struck. The Legend was deceived by The Haur and nicked one off his gloves to slip. The fairytale innings was over. Flintoff departed to a standing ovation having scored a sensational 74 runs 0ff just 79 deliveries. We were back in top. In the context of the match, Fred's inability to reach a hundred is of no great significance but in his final Ashes series, it was cruel to see the great man denied a century. Maybe Fate is waiting for his final test at The Oval... We ended the session with Boyband and Marcel at the crease on 316-7 with a lead of 53 runs. The afternoon had been an outrageous display of bludgeoning batting - the extended two and a half hour session's run-rate had been 4.88 and all thanks to The Big Man.

EVENING SESSION : BLOOD IS IN THE AIR

At the beginning of the evening, Punter chose to take the new ball immediately. He clearly wanted to rattle through our tail as quickly as possible and prevent us from building a lead in excess of as hundred. This choice enabled us to accrue runs quickly as the new ball raced through the outfield. Dr Comfort batted assuredly for 20 off just 24 before he was removed by Sid playing a needless shot. The atmosphere in the middle was a feverous one and our Swann had been embroiled in some sledging alongside Westlife. England stated publicly before the test that they would target MJ and they haven't held back. Jimmy marched to the crease and quickly contributed some choice words of his own. His duckless streak continues and he played solidly for a few balls which enabled the Blonde Bombshell to score at the other end but Jimmy was ultimately out for just one. Broad was on 40 odd and sensed a maiden Ashes 50. Shakespeare acted as a perfect foil, blocking determinedly and watching on as his partner helped our lead past 100 and claimed his personal milestone off Hilfenhaus with a boundary. Stu was dismissed shortly afterwards for 55 by The Vicious One but The Blonde had batted superbly and the job on the batting front was done. We had secured a lead of 113. Now we needed quick wickets before the close of play. We had 31 overs to make inroads into the enemy lines.

Our bowling effort was a good one but nowhere near as devastating as our heroics on Friday. With Fred and Jimbo failing to deliver and the Aussie opening pair reaching an opening stand of 47, Brocko threw the ball to the Bard. Strauss' bowling change came off once again as The Kat edged behind and we had the break-though at last. Unfortunately, only one further wicket fell before the close of play but it was The Wicket. Our Marcel dismissed Ponting for just five with a wonderful delivery bowling the skipper through the gate with the final delivery of a menacing over. Cricket Tragic emerged on a king pair and Shakespeare almost inflicted the ultimate cricketing humiliation on the Hussler. But Onions' narrowly failed to hold onto a difficult caught and bowled chance and Mr Cricket survived to be not out over-night alongside maiden opener Watson. Australia will resume on 88-2 and 25 runs behind. There are only two results possible - a draw or an England victory - and only one I can entertain.

Quote of the Day: The Freddied Flintstone texting during the evening session - "When will the rain end?". He must have been Freddied. Or so cut off from the world that he was unaware of our change in fortune with the weather. Who knew it was so difficult to stay on the ball in Somerset?

Ornithological Count: Pigeons were in the house today! Really. At last the winged rats have returned. A plethora of pigeons settled on the outfield to watch His Fredness bat and only scarpered when one of his glorious cover drives came their way. Unless I hallucinated. That could well be a possibility.

Barminess Barometer: 75% - there was a profusion of political personalities in the house today. Blair. Thatcher. Barry O. The Chimp. And, the Queen. It was rumoured that Dave C was in the stands on Thursday so his fellow statesmen
obviously wanted to assert their own authority on Edgbaston and reclaim some adulation. Alongside these great and err far from great leaders, they were several pirates, eight Stormtroopers of Star Wars fame, one Tinman on the hunt for Dorothy, one David Gower doppelganger (I promise I definitely wasn't seeing double when I spotted DG II), a mullet brigade, a troupe of Fredalikes and someone dressed as a pot of mustard. Sexy...

I can't wait for the action to get under way tomorrow. I can't remember the last time we had such a good chance to go two nil up in an Ashes series. Don't less us down boys...