Up the two terrace flights of steps the rain ran wildly, and beat at the great door, like a swift messenger rousing those within...
A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
England - 1st innings : 435; Australia - 1st innings : 479-5 (stumps, day three)
I must confess I had my very own "alarm clock issue" yesterday morning. I was meant to meet The Freddied Flinstone (oh the irony....) at The Globe, where I had witnessed that historic final day at The Oval in 05, for the start of play at 11am but I ended up waking up at 10.37am which rendered any voyage impossible. I couldn't countenance missing the opening of our rescue mission and I am unable to leave my house sans caffeine anyway. So, awash with guilt, (thankfully the Freddied one was running late and hadn’t left the house when I relayed the news of my tardiness) I settled down on my sofa to watch our bowlers' attempt to bounce back, coffee in hand...
MORNING SESSION : WICKETS AT LAST
It is something of an understatement to claim that we opened the day yearning for a quick wicket. Desperate for a wicket, might be a more apt description. After two days, our position in the game was already a more than precarious one. Unfortunately, we had to wait for almost an hour and the new ball before Jimbo obliged. The PussyKat was removed at last LBW for 122 and the seemingly eternal partnership between Messrs Ponting and Katich had been broken. Further inroads looked imminent and JA duly removed the Hussler for just three runs half an hour later. The Aussies were far from reeling but we had pegged them back and our sights were set on removing vice-captain Clarke, even more heavily inked than on his visit to these shores five years ago. The wicket of Ponting remained elusive, however, and it looked like he was set for a double hundred once he reached 150. The Mystery that is Monty, incredibly, then removed him next ball, tempting Punter into dragging onto his stumps. The skipper departed fuming and England were rejuvenated. It was wasn't quite as shocking or seminal a landmark as the Haur's dismissal of KP in our first innings but there were curious parallels in both side's key wickets being taken by the much maligned spin bowlers in the opposing ranks. The Aussies' very own Pup was joined at the crease by so-called non-entity North and they survived unscathed until lunch.
AFTERNOON SESSION: AUSTRALIA MARCH ON UTTERLY UNCHALLENGED
North started the session on 0, still yet to score in his maiden Ashes test, and we were hopeful of dismissing him before he could settle. However, with the afternoon session almost an hour old, we were yet to take another wicket. Swann, in particular, looked ineffectual and Michael and Marcus quickly put on a 50 Partnership. Our bowlers were toothless in their attempts to unsettle the batsmen. Monty's wicket looked an aberration, Broad was expensive and far from dangerous and Jimmy futile now the ball was older. Freddie, once again, looked our only hope of a wicket but the Lord persisted with the spinners in tandem. Jimmy left the pitch for five overs which suggested that he was carrying a niggle. We looked set for an ominous afternoon in the field. The Pup reached his half century at 15.00 and his six straight down the ground off Monty epitomised his nonchalant, aggressive play. North quickly reached 30 runs and the pair set about chasing down our total of 435 with some ease, reaching 422-4 with half an hour of the session remaining. Marcus did survive an LBW shout off Dr Comfort but that was an all too rare moment of discomfort. The Australian batsmen were simply not being challenged. Our total was equalled and then bettered as they rattled up a century partnership off Freddie's earnest yet fundamentally timid bowling. The bugler's Flinstone tune rung out sullenly around the ground; even the Barmy Army's bonhomie could not mask our ineptitude. North reached his 50 just before tea and the sight of Collingwood coming on to bowl his inoffensive off-cutters towards the end of the session was an indication that our day, and with it any prospect of winning the test, had gone awry... "England are toiling," muttered the ever controversial Atherton.
EVENING SESSION : HISTORY MADE AS ALL EYES FACE THE SKY
I trotted off to enemy territory aka the Walkabout to watch the evening's play with the elusive Singing Spinner. Luckily, few Aussies were to be found and sledging was at a minimum. SS was running late and I didn't fancy fending off a barrage of brio on my own... The enigmatic Michael Holding had uttered the following line about Prior's stance behind the wicket earlier in the day but it seemed to ring true about the session to come too - "It's all about thinking about the game, thinking on your feet; not just being conventional". I thought the fans in the crowd were actualising these words when I saw them huddling under umbrellas - surely, the best prayer for rain is to unleash a brolly. However, this was no plea of anticipation but a sign of an actual downpour. In fact, no sooner had the SS had turned when the rain came, hard and fast across Swalec stadium. Play stopped and England had some respite at last. The covers were on before half an hour of the session had got under way and the prospect of any further play for the day was in the balance.
During the rain delay, my companion and I hot footed it to O'Neills next door to the enemy lines to discuss our position in the match out of ear-shot. We were unanimous in our wish for play to be abandoned for the day and, having decided to bet on this outcome, ambled to Hill's with glee. Unfortunately, the betting shop was not amenable to this notion; clusters of bespectacled men were watching the dogs and the horses in silent agony and we thought it cruel to interrupt. We returned to the Walkabout in anticipation of an announcement that play had been officially called off; however, a gleeful Gower was on hand to inform us that play was to restart at 18.15 and there was an option for twelve more overs to be bowled. Cursing the weather gods, we ordered another drink and sat down to watch the first test overs under lights in the UK. In the end, the decision to come out and play in such murky, muggy conditions suited us; Broad quickly removed Clarke for 83 and we sensed blood. North and Gilchrist wannabe Haddin unsurprisingly soon appealed to the umpires and play was abandoned because of bad light or similar. The Aussies closed on 479-5 and an imperious first innings lead looked inevitable. Our fate, once again, is in the lap of the sky.
Quote of the Day: The Singing Spinner - "It was worth watching just to see David Gower's tie".
Ornithological Count : A dearth of flying objects, other than our hope of course, and how we could have done with a duckling or two today. I am sending birdseed to Wales on express delivery...
Barminess Barometer : 95% - the highlight of the day. 1 Green Man - think the Blue Man show but blind (he definitely had the right idea today...), 5 Smurfs, 2 Pirates, 3 Mexicans, 3 Scooby Doos, Countless Rah's, 1 grey Elvis Quiff, 2 Men in floor-length gowns and head scarves, 3 dudes in '118' inspired suits, 7 Bananas, 1 Bride, 1 Vicky Pollard and, last but by no means least, 1 impostor dressed as Monty who bowled Punter.
I'm off to do a rain dance... The Weather has been England's best player for some time. Don't upset your average now Zeus!
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